Jock of Gold
I LOVE EBAY! In the spring of 2000 I was able to purchase, for $1643, Vernon Wells’ jockstrap. I know what you’re thinking, who would pay that kind of money for a jock? The answer: Yours Truly!
There are 2 reasons why I bought it:
1) it was Vernon Wells’ jock, and Vernon Wells is the best thing to happen to baseball since Nolan Ryan beat the **** out of Robin Ventura.
2) This particular jock happened to be dipped in genuine 14 karat gold my friends, GOLD!!!! It’s probably worth triple what I paid for it, not that I would ever sell it, ever.
The bidding was pretty intense but when you’re in a bid battle with FUNKYJAYSFAN47 you’ve just got to take it one bid at a time. Hopefully, good lord willing, things will work out, and in this case they certainly did! Detailed below is a song I wrote in honor of the most awesome jock ever, in the history of jocks.
Go JAYS! VOTE VERNON! VOTE OFTEN!