I went straight to the top to get votes for Vernon.

In my continued efforts to get All-Star votes for Vernon Wells, I recently traveled to Toronto in my 30-foot RV and parked it where I shouldn’t.

Three home runs vs. Boston, including two off red-hot Josh Beckett. 15 on the season and his first curtain call. Does he even need my help anymore to be an AL starter July 11 at PNC? Clutch hits never seemed so good / I’ve been inclined / to believe you really could…

 

Last night I had a dream. In my dream I was at a “jam session” with one John Cougar Mellencamp, we were playing for hours, at 3 am we had pizza. Then we sang the song detailed below together. I hope you like it. After we finished this song John Cougar Mellencamp was eaten by a killer whale, I have no idea how that whale got onto land and made it into the studio, but it did,***** him. This song is dedicated to Vernon Wells, and John Cougar Mellencamp, and to that **** whale.

Note: You can hear me sing this song and several others this week at the Jays / Red Sox series, I will be atop my RV outside the Rogers Centre, come and visit! Unless you’re a whale, if you are a whale please stay in the ocean.

Vernon

Wells to the Allstar Game!

(Rockin’ in the

USA

by Mellencamp)

They’re coming from the cities
And they’re coming from the smaller towns
Beat up gloves with bats and players
Goin crack boom bam

[Chorus:]
Vernon’s goin to the Allstar Game
Vernon’s goin to the Allstar Game
Vernon’s goin to the Allstar Game, Yeah, Yeah!
Vernon to the Allstar Game

Some votes came from the family
Some votes came from the friends
With Pipe dreams in their heads
And a little money in their hands
Some bat left and some bat right
Ain’t to proud to sacrifice bunt tonight
With the blind faith of Gibbons you know that they just might,

Send

Vernon

to the All-star Game
Hey!

Ballots from nowhere
And ballots from the larger towns
Filled our head full of dreams
Of sending Vernon to Steel-town

There was Dave Stieb-Joe Carter-Jimmy Key
(They were All-stars)
George Bell-Ron Fairly-Ted Lilly
(They were All-stars)
Spotlight on Lloyd Moseby
Don’t forget Tom Henke
Vernon to the All-star Game

Vernon

’s going to the Allstar Game

Vernon

’s going to the Allstar Game

Vernon

’s going to the Allstar Game

Vernon

’s going to the Allstar Game

Vernon

’s going to the Allstar Game

Vernon

going to the Allstar Game

Vernon

going to the Allstar Game

I love Vernon Wells. He is awesome, he is to baseball what Kevin Federline is to bad rappers who can dance: a Legend. Feel free to give this song a listen, may it inspire you to vote for

Vernon

25 times online, which you can and should do! You can hear me sing this song and others this week at the Rogers Centre, if you see me bring me a ballot with Vernons’ name on it; I might give you a hot dog!

They’re Voting for Vernon Wells

(They’re Coming to

America

by Neil Diamond)

Star,
Help make Wells an All-star
let’s make this dome
the home for all stars

Start,
as an all star He’ll start
How hard he throws
He hangs on to four seams

On the boats and on the planes
They’re voting for the Vernon Wells
you can vote again and again,
They’re voting for the Vernon Wells

Game

Vernon plays great home or away
And he’ll probably go yard today
this player performs
this player performs

The All star game
You know its in Pittsburgh this year
and Vernon has no fear
close the roof, there’s a storm
close the roof, there’s a storm

Everywhere around the world
They’re voting for the Vernon Wells
Every time that ball is hurled
They’re voting for the Vernon Wells

Got a dream to take him there
They’re voting for the Vernon Wells
Got a dream they’ve come to share
They’re voting for the Vernon Wells

They’re voting for the Vernon Wells
They’re voting for the Vernon Wells
They’re voting for the Vernon Wells
They’re voting for the Vernon Wells
Today,

Today,
Today,

Today,

Today

My Vernon ’tis of thee (today)
he has the best bat speed (today)
Of thee I sing (today)
Of Vernon I sing
Today, Today, Today
Today, today, today……

Diamonds. They are rare, expensive, and they impress the ladies. Just like Vernon Wells. Check out this song I wrote with the help of my favorite diamond, Mr. Neil Diamond, and come sing it with me tonight outside the Rogers Centre! Go Jays !

Sweet

Vernon

Wells….da da daaaa

(Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond)

Where it began,
I can’t begin to knowin’
But it for Vernon I sing this song
Was in the spring
And spring became the summer
Who’d have believed he’d start so strong.

Hits, He’s gettin’ hits
Reachin’ out, a divin’ play, in the gap

Sweet Vernon Wells
Clutch hits never seemed so clutch
I’ve been inclined
To believe you always could
But now I, look at the ballot
And how it seems so easy

I fill it up with only you.

And when you hit,
Hittin’ for power and average
You can still hit at 0 and 2
Base, he’s stealin’ a base
Reachin’ out, touching home, and he safe
Sweet Vernon Wells
Clutch hits never seemed so clutch
your plays’ refined,
to the all star game you should
go, go, go

Sweet Vernon Wells
Clutch hits never seemed so clutch
Sweet Vernon Wells,
I believe you are real good
Sweet Vernon Wells………

If i had to be stranded on a desert island I would bring 2 people with me: Vernon Wells and Johnny Cash. We’d barbecue together, build sand castles, and sing this song around the campfire. We’d also have s’mores.

Come see me sing this song and a bunch of others tonite outside the Rogers Center, I’ll be the large man atop the RV with big banners on it!

Vote for

Vernon

!

(Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash)

Vernon Wells is king
and he makes me want to sing
seeking one who does excel
I decided to vote for Wells…

I decided he’s my favorite player
I vote Vern, Vern,

Vernon

and his votes are getting higher.
And he’s earned, earned, earned
your vote for

vernon

your vote for

vernon

.

I decided he’s my favorite player
I vote Vern, Vern,

Vernon

and his votes are getting higher.
And he’s earned, earned, earned
your vote for

vernon

your vote for

vernon

.

The vote for Wells is sweet
at bat he can’t be beat
lets get him to the all-star game

If you don’t vote then you’re just lame

I decided he’s my favorite player
I vote Vern, Vern,

Vernon

and the votes are getting higher.
And he’s earned, earned, earned
your vote for

vernon

your vote for

vernon

.

I decided he’s my favorite player
I vote Vern, Vern,

Vernon

and the votes went higher.
And he’s earned, earned, earned
your vote for

vernon

your vote for

vernon

.

And he’s earned, earned, earned
the vote for

vernon

the vote for

Vernon

The vote for

Vernon

Like peanut butter and chococlate, some things were meant to be together. Check out what happens when I combine the greatest power band of the 70’s with the greatest center fielder of the new millenium. You can hear me sing this song and others from high atop my RV at the Jays – Red Sox games all this week, come out and visit, I’ll give you a hot dog!

I’m Votin’ For You

(I’m Burnin for you by Blue Oyster Cult)

Hits in the alley
Hits that are pretty
Hits that are witty
All are hits for Wells

He can steal bases
He can make great plays
He can make trees sway
Him I’ll never be

Vernon out the day
Vernon out the night
Vote for Vernon and watch him hit the ball out of site
I’m living for givin’ this player his due
And I’m votin’, I’m votin’, I’m votin’ for you
I’m votin’, I’m votin’, I’m votin’ for you

Vernon plays baseball
It’s baseball season
Baseball’s the reason
There’s still time to vote

Vote everlasting
Vote for all Blue Jays
Voting for Vernon

Cuz he makes the plays

Vernon out the day
Vernon out the night
If he wanted to he could bat left or bat right
I’ve seen hits that were home runs and beef that was stew
and I’m votin’, I’m votin’, I’m votin’ for you
I’m votin’, I’m votin’, I’m votin’ for you

Vernon out the day
Vernon out the night
Let’s make him and all-star by doing whats right
I’m living for givin’ this player his due
And I’m votin’, I’m votin’, I’m votin’ for you
I’m votin’, I’m votin’, I’m votin’ for you

I’m votin’, I’m votin’, I’m votin’ for you
And I’m votin’, I’m votin’, I’m votin’ for you

Elvis is the King of Rock and Roll, and Mr. Vernon Wells is the King of Centerfield. To honor him as such, I have combined the greatness of Elvis and Vernon Wells into a song called simply: A Hunk A Hunk of Vernon Wells. You can listen to me sing this song and several others atop my RV at the Jays – Sox game this Monday – Wednesday, GO JAYS!!!!!

A Hunk A Hunk of Vernon

Wells!

(Burnin Love by Elvis Presley)

Wells is Mighty,
His all star votes are a rising
Higher higher
They’re rising right through the roof

Vernon, Vernon
I’m goinna make you and all-star
Your bat is flaming
and I sure know which way to vote

Cuz Your home runs lift me higher
Like a blast of canon fire
You catch all the pop fli-ies
Your Vernon Wells

Ooh, ooh, ooh,
I see your average rising
Help him, he’s flaming
He’s batting 359
Hittin, Hittin, Hittin
The ain t a pitch that can fool you
You just might have the best stroke
That I’ve ever seen

Cause your home runs lift me higher
Like a blast of canon fire
And you light up the baseball sky
Your Vernon Wells

Game’s coming closer
And I see your votes are a rising’
Vote for Vernon
Hurry time’s slipping away
It’s hard to breath
when all the bases your stealing
Wells is Almighty,
So fill out your ballot today

Cause his home runs lift me higher
Like a blast of cannon fire
You light up the baseball sky
Your Vernon Wells
Vernon Wells
You’re just a hunk, a hunk of Vernon Wells
Just a hunk, a hunk of Vernon Wells
Just a hunk, a hunk of Vernon Wells
Just a hunk, a hunk of Vernon Wells
Just a hunk, a hunk of Vernon Wells
Just a hunk, a hunk of Vernon Wells