Top Ten Reasons to Vote for Vernon Wells for the All-Star Game!

There can be no argument.  Vernon is an All-Star.  But, if you needconvincing, here is proof.  This list will make you aware of things about Vernon you may not have
known.

10.  Once when he was stranded in the middle of the Sahara Dessert, Vernon saved himself and forty children by building a
hovercraft out of his own kidney.

9.  Rocky Balboa ate lightning and crapped thunder.  Vernon eats lightning…and holds it all in, baby.

8.  Vernon Wells once won a staring contest against a statue.

7.  Vernon Wells can communicate with dolphins, and they are actually
interested to hear what he has to say.

6.  There are eleven letters in "Vernon Wells".  Think
about it.

5.  Vernon Wells owns a chain of men’s lingerie stores modeled after Victoria’s Secret called Vernon’s Hidden Agenda.

4.  Vernon Wells once hit a home run…with his mind.

3.   To win a bet, Vernon Wells once ate an entire bowling ball.

2.  If you don’t vote for Vernon Wells, somewhere in the world, a puppy
will explode.

1. Every time you vote for Vernon, a Los Angeles Angel loses its wings!

Jock of Gold

I LOVE EBAY! In the spring of 2000 I was able to purchase, for $1643, Vernon Wells’ jockstrap. I know what you’re thinking, who would pay that kind of money for a jock? The answer: Yours Truly!

There are 2 reasons why I bought it:

1) it was Vernon Wells’ jock, and Vernon Wells is the best thing to happen to baseball since Nolan Ryan beat the **** out of Robin Ventura.

2) This particular jock happened to be dipped in genuine 14 karat gold my friends, GOLD!!!! It’s probably worth triple what I paid for it, not that I would ever sell it, ever.

The bidding was pretty intense but when you’re in a bid battle with FUNKYJAYSFAN47 you’ve just got to take it one bid at a time. Hopefully, good lord willing, things will work out, and in this case they certainly did! Detailed below is a song I wrote in honor of the most awesome jock ever, in the history of jocks.

Go JAYS! VOTE VERNON! VOTE OFTEN!

Jock of Gold

(Heart of gold by Neil Young)

I want to live,
I want to give
I’ve been a searcher
for a jock of  gold.
It’s all star ballots
for Vernon Wells
That keep me showing
off this jock of gold
And its growing mold.
Keeps me showing
this here jock of gold
And its growing mold.

I’ve been to Dunedin
I’ve been to triple a
I crossed the ocean
for a jock of  gold
Vernon is real kind,
I built him this shrine
That keeps me showing
off this jock of  gold
And It’s growing mold.
Keeps me showing
off this jock of gold
And It’s growing mold.

Keep me showing
off this jock of gold
I keep on showing
off this jock of gold
And It’s growing mold.
I’ve been a searcher
for a jock of gold.

Jock_of_gold

Vernon Wells Bobblehead Day

Bobblehead_1Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon Vote Vernon

One of 25

Here is Vernon Wells on my latest completed ballot, one of the 25 I will be submitting online. You’ll find him as the last player in AL outfielders because they are listed alphabetically, so just click on the last name there and then add any other Major Leaguers who you think should accompany Vernon on the field July 11 at PNC Park. As you can see, I voted the Blue Jay ticket so Vernon would have familiar faces alongside him in the Midsummer Classic. Vote now.

Allstarvotes

Vernon’s Jock

Jock of Gold
I LOVE EBAY! In the spring of 2000 I was able to purchase, for $1643, Vernon Wells’ jockstrap. I know what you’re thinking, who would pay that kind of money for a jock? The answer: Yours Truly!

There are 2 reasons why I bought it:

1) it was Vernon Wells’ jock, and Vernon Wells is the best thing to happen to baseball since Nolan Ryan beat the **** out of Robin Ventura.

2) This particular jock happened to be dipped in genuine 14 karat gold my friends, GOLD!!!! It’s probably worth triple what I paid for it, not that I would ever sell it, ever.

The bidding was pretty intense but when you’re in a bid battle with FUNKYJAYSFAN47 you’ve just got to take it one bid at a time. Hopefully, good lord willing, things will work out, and in this case they certainly did! Detailed below is a song I wrote in honor of the most awesome jock ever, in the history of jocks.

Go JAYS! VOTE VERNON! VOTE OFTEN!